The Party is Over

The Aftermath of the EVCJ Awards – I awoke this morning to London’s perma-grey with the quality of hangover that is only achieved at a truly brilliant party. You know the ones I’m talking about, created by the perfect alchemy of cold champagne and brandy.

“Can’t be seen as a slacker, must make it into the office.” I repeat this mantra for the entire journey to work. And some of you understand the feeling perfectly, especially the staff from a major vc and buyout house who were playing drinking games which involved running around in a circle until they fell over at the bar and the female lawyer who took a leaf out of Britney Spears book and danced all night sans knickers. No names.

I try to sneak to my desk but I am spotted by the lads from our sister titles IFR and Acquisitions Monthly who rouse themselves from their own stupors for a round of applause – just what I need in this state, loud clapping from cynical journalists.

I know these tongue-in-cheek boys have already contacted the business gossip columnists to tell them that I am having an affair with Rory Bremner. For the record, I am NOT having an affair with Rory Bremner. These colleagues only became excited because Rory seemed to reveal a bit of a soft spot when he took the liberty of calling me a “hot bitch” in front of our audience of 250 guests at the Dorchester hotel. Personally, I thought he was hot too and a hilarious host.

But it was the godfather – the most important man in our industry in Britain that stole my heart that night when, because my hand was in a cast with a broken finger, he offered to cut my lamb for me – what a gentleman. As my right hand was in this ridiculous cast I was forced to cheek kiss the winners as they took the stage. I knew there would be that one guy who had too much to drink that would go for the lips. So I prayed that he would be cute. And the Swiss banker is nothing if he isn’t cute. However, I am cross that his mate came up afterwards and explained that he had bet him lunch at Gordon Ramsey’s to do it and I am yet to receive my invitation.

For photos from the awards please go to, and for more to chat about at the water cooler check out my blog on