Today’s column is by Chris Douvos, who is providing this light-hearted spoof to send us all merrily into the weekend:
So there I was, listening to the infectiously giddy (and, indeed, bittersweet) Katy Perry tune “Waking Up In Vegas.” Now, I realize that I’m probably more than twice the age of the typical Katy Perry listener, but the ditty struck a chord. There’s a great moment about halfway through the song in which Katy seems to be at the bottom of her stack of chips, and she urges her gambling partner to “Send out an S.O.S.” But, then, as she pauses to inhale, the momentary silence is filled with an ethereal, angelic sigh, perhaps portending a change of luck. With the wheel of fortune finally spinning her way, she changes her tune and exhorts her sidekick with renewed optimism: “and get some cash out!”
Maybe it was because I was driving back from an annual meeting during which I’d heard some GPs describe a great year after a period of difficulty, but the first time I heard the song on the radio I thought it was a must-add to my mental soundtrack of the VC world. After all, the way some people think about venture and its potential for discontinuous outcomes (and punishing loss rates) makes it akin to gambling; I’ve always thought of Curtis Sharp as the patron saint of some venture investors, no?
Anyhow, as I thought about it a bit more, I re-envisioned the song as a lament from entrepreneurs to venture capitalists who sit on their Boards. Spoofing the song, I’ve replaced Vegas with Woodside, a tony Silicon Valley hamlet that’s home to many VCs and entrepreneurs. Keeping true to the original, there’s little rhyme and funky meter, but here it is for your enjoyment:
Waking Up In Woodside
We’ve got a Board meeting
Last quarter’s all a blur
We need a term sheet ‘cause you’re under-reserved — and we’re broke
I lost my sales VP, but you lost a key LP
Spare me the lessons from G-S-B
or Mike Porter
You just want to sneak out and get to Tahoe
Don’t be a baby
Remember what you told me:
Sometimes the guys at TechCrunch can be such haters
That’s what you get for waking up in Woodside
We need some cash to get us out of beta
That’s what you get for waking up in Woodside
OK, we’ll cut our burn
Why do you act so stern, dressed up like Steve Jobs?
And why, why did you drop us from your firm’s website?
Call up your partners
‘Cause now we need a bridge loan
Don’t be a baby
Remember what you told me:
Sometimes the guys at TechCrunch can be such haters
That’s what you get for waking up in Woods! ide
We need some cash to get us out of beta
That’s what you get for waking up in Woodside
How do we all get out of this?
Capital efficiency, intellectual property
Send out a press release
And get a slot at DEMO
We’re gonna file an S-1!
Don’t be a baby
Remember what you told me:
Sometimes the guys at TechCrunch can be such haters
That’s what you get for waking up in Woodside
We need some cash to get us out of beta
That’s what you get for waking up in Woodside
We’ll make the quarter; make, make, make the quarter!
Let’s file for IPO, baby
Let’s get some cash out, baby
Chris Douvos co-heads the private equity division at The Investment Fund for Foundations (TIFF). Prior to TIFF, Chris was at Princeton University Investment Company where he helped select and monitor managers in illiquid asset classes.
On Thursday, peHUB neglected to provide a bio for Howard Lovy, who wrote yesterday’s guest post on the climate for innovation in Detroit. Howard is the Detroit correspondent for Xconomy. Xconomy launched its Detroit bureau (http://xconomy.com/detroit) in April to provide timely, insightful, close-to-the-scene information about the personalities, companies, and institutions involved in the local tech and life sciences ecosystem.
Other cities in Xconomy’s rapidly growing network of hyperlocal innovation sites include Boston (http://xconomy.com/boston), Seattle (http://xconomy.com/seattle), San Francisco (http://xconomy.com/sanfrancisco), and San Diego (http://xconomy.com/sandiego). Thanks Howard!
Top Three
Fortress Investment Group has bought CW Financial Services, a servicer of commercial and multifamily real estate debt. The seller is Otéra US Holding Inc. which had owned a majority stake. Financial terms were not disclosed. Fortress is an investment manager.
Leonard Green & Partners, a private equity firm that has invested in several retailers, has taken a 9.5 percent stake in BJ’s Wholesale Club Inc. and said it may propose taking the warehouse club operator private.
Tapulous, the iPhone gaming startup, has been bought by Walt Disney Co. Bart Decrem, Tapulous’s founder, is joining Disney as will Andrew Lacy, who is VP. Tapulous has received $1.8 million from angel investors including Marc Benioff, Andy Bechtolsheim and Jeff Clavier.
VC Deals
Eli Lilly and Co. has agreed to buy Alnara Pharmaceuticals Inc. Financial terms were not announced. Alnara, of Cambridge, Mass., is a biotechnology company that develops protein therapeutics for the treatment of metabolic diseases. Alnara has received investments from Third Rock Ventures, Frazier Healthcare, MPM Capital, Bessemer Venture Partners and Longwood Founders Fund.
Eucalyptus Systems Inc. has completed a $20 million round of funding led by New Enterprise Associates, a new investor. Benchmark Capital and BV Capital, current investors, also participated. Eucalyptus, of Santa Barbara, Calif., creates open source cloud software and has raised $25.5 million to date with two rounds of funding.
Clean technology venture investments in North America, Europe and China hit $2.02 billion in second quarter, up 43% for the same time period in 2009, according to the Cleantech Group and Deloitte. Solar was the lead sector for investments with $811 million spread across 26 deals.
Eli Lilly and Co. has agreed to buy Alnara Pharmaceuticals Inc. Financial terms were not announced. Alnara, of Cambridge, Mass., is a biotechnology company that develops protein therapeutics for the treatment of metabolic diseases. Alnara has received investments from Third Rock Ventures, Frazier Healthcare, MPM Capital, Bessemer Venture Partners and Longwood Founders Fund.
GroupSpaces has secured $1.3 million investment round from Index Ventures and an angel investor consortium including Dave McClure, Chris Sacca, Simon Levene, Meagan Marks, Ariel Poler and Quincy Smith of CODE Advisors. Index Ventures partner, Mike Volpi, will take a board seat. GroupSpaces, of London, provides tools for groups and communities to manage and promote themselves online.
Buyouts Deals
Harvest Partners has invested in Insight Global Inc. Financial terms were not disclosed. Harvest, a New York private equity firm, said its stake is “significant.” Atlanta-based Insight Global is a provider of information technology staffing services.
Resilience Capital Partners has closed its buy of Taylor Lumber Inc. Financial terms were not announced. Taylor, of McDermott, Ohio, is a leading producer of rift and quartered sawn lumber. Resilience Capital is a private equity firm based in Cleveland.
An affiliate of CCMP Capital Advisors LLC has closed its buy of Infogroup, a Omaha database provider. Clare Hart was named Infogroup’s president and CEO. CCMP, of New York, is a private equity firm.
Lightyear Capital has completed the sale of NAU Group to QBE Holdings Inc. QBE has made a cash payment of $565 million. Also, NAU stockholders will receive a $30 million cash dividend prior to the closing. NAU, of Ramsey, Minn., is a leading writer and manager of multi-peril crop insurance. New York-based Lightyear is a private equity firm.
EQT Partners has sold Aleris Holding to Investor AB for SEK 4.4 billion. EQT Partners, a private equity firm, said Aleris was sold through an auction process and received strong interest from both trade and financial buyers. Aleris is a pan-Scandinavian healthcare service operator. Investor AB, an industrial holding company, is part of the Wallenberg family.
Quadrant Private Equity has bought Media Monitors, which aggregates news from TV, radio and newspapers in the Asia Pacific region. Financial terms were not announced. Quadrant is a private equity firm in Australia.
PE-Backed IPOs
Bravo Brio Restaurant Group Inc., which is backed by is backed by Bruckmann, Rosser, Sherrill & Co. Management L.P. and Castle Harlan, filed with U.S. regulators on Friday to raise up to $172.5 million in an initial public offering of common stock.
Human Resources
Kendall Cooper, the former CFO of The Mayfield Fund, has joined Allegis Capital as CFO. Palo Alto, Calif.-based Allegis is an early stage venture capital firm with more than $500 million under management. The Mayfield Fund, of Menlo Park, Calif., is also a venture capital firm with more than $2.8 billion under management.
Yar-Ping Soo has joined Adams Street Partners as a partner on its investment team. Yar-Ping was previously with GIC Special Investments, the private equity division of the Government of Singapore Investment Corporation. Yar-Ping will be based in Singapore and focus on fund investments and co-investments in the Asia-Pacific region.
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